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Ode to Fashion PR Girl

02/24/2010

Oh, Fashion PR Girl; how familiar I have become with your story.

You come to New York, intern at one mom-and-pop firm that handles a random denim brand, and then force factoids down our throats to gain some sort of validation or respect. Little do you know that your precious information is either outdated or just incorrect altogether. You honestly think Kelly Cutrone is a good role model to emulate and you live off of The City reruns like a vampire needs blood.

Fashion PR Girl, I worry for your well-being because you are so blissfully unaware of how unsuccessful you will be should you continue on this path of self-worship and distaste. Your carefully constructed facade (tall pleather boots over black leggings, over sized flannel shirts belted at the waist to make an ill-fitting shirt-dress that reveals your butt every time you bend over, and Ray-bans to be worn at all times) is not fashionable nor respectable.  Instead, your self-important attitude and overall I-got-dressed-in-a-dumpster-last-night look is indeed a turn-off to everyone around you.  Thus, I have put together an itemized list of things that may help you on your journey to accomplishment:

1. No one likes ego. Tone it down, and maybe refrain from beginning every statement with, “When I interned during fashion week…”  Stuffing gift bags is not actually something you want to be bragging about.

2. No, you are not the most experienced person in the room. Sure, you may have met the owner of Vera Wang’s show producer, but that contact won’t get you anywhere if you don’t know how to use an autofilter in Excel.

3. Stop making industry assumptions based on the following: The Devil Wears Prada, Ugly Betty, The City, The Hills, Kell on Earth, America’s Next Top Model, or Project Runway. These shows are for pure entertainment purposes only.

4. Do not, under any circumstances, professes your love for the aforementioned movies and/or shows because such admissions will lower your credibility instantly. Like masturbating, these are guilty pleasures to be experienced alone.

5. Do not pretend to know the business unless you actually know the business aspects of the industry. If a designer talks to you about their top doors, launching into a discussion about the renovation being done to your house back home in Virgina will make you look like a moron.

6. Realize that your office emergency (got the wrong type of coffee, ran out of copy paper, lost your supervisor’s dog, got food stains on a sample) is not actually an emergency. So please stop taking yourself so seriously.

–Andrew

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One Comment leave one →
  1. 02/24/2010 3:56 PM

    and to think i was planning to wear black leggings, a yellow flannel and black rain boots tomorrow. I also own two pairs of raybans. ahhhhh

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